Monday, September 25, 2006

How do you Solve a Problem Like Cherie Blair?



Music by Richard Rodgers:
Lyrics by Oscar Hammerstien II (adapted by Stephen Glenn)

She climbs the law, marries MP
Her address is number 10
She waltzes on her way to court
And whistles on the stair
And underneath her gown
She has the latest fashion wear
I even heard her singing to the jury

She's always late for chambers
But her politics not stopped
She's always late for everything
Except for photo ops
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Cherie Blair's not an asset to this practise

I'd like to say a word in her behalf
Cherie Blair makes me laugh

How do you solve a problem like Cherie Blair?
How do you catch a dream and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Cherie Blair?
A flibbertijibbet! Who won't listen to Gordon Brown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say?
How do you keep New Labour on in power?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Cherie Blair?
How do you buy two flats at discount rates?

When Tony's with her he's confused
Out of focus and bemused
And he never knows exactly where she stands
Unpredictable as weather
She's as flighty as a feather
She's a darling! She's a demon who can bite her man!

She'd outprezza Prezza
Drive Margaret Beckett from her nest
She could throw Deniis Skinner out of whirl
She is gentle! She is wild!
She's a riddle! She's a child!
She's a headache! She's an angel!
She's a girl!

How do you solve a problem like Cherie Blair?
How do you make a leftie pipe it down?
How do you find a word that means Cherie Blair?
A wreak of the hessbriss when florists come to call!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep New Labour on in power?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Cherie Blair?
Maybe we'll find out under PM Brown?

2 comments:

B said...

Very amusing!

Caron said...

Some Councils are more wimpish than others, though, and are not taking anti social behaviour seriously enough. There has to be a balance. People can't be expected to live with horrendous intimidation and harrassment.

There are aspects of the ASBO legislation which are downright sinister - ie if someone breaches an ASBO they can pretty much be locked up forever, but if we have the legislation there's an argument that using it once in a while might not be a bad thing.

I'm not sure how the Labour proposal would work, though - does there have to be a quota of ASBOs each year. What would happen if not enough people behaved badly enough to warrant one:-)

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